2004 TOTEM POLE EXTREME OFF-ROAD TRIATHLON

 

            Hazlehurst, Mississippi-  “Three Red Bulls, a PowerBar and two energy gels” turned out to be the quote of the day last Saturday as I barely finished one of the most grueling, challenging, and awesome events of my amateur sporting career.  The quote, made by my nine-year old son who was obviously left unattended by world famous marathoner and former friend Jerry Keywood, stuck with me as I gasped for breath at the finish line.  As Robert jumped in circles around me screaming about how great he felt after consuming so much “health food” while I was racing, I was thinking more about a Red Bull i.v.  Goodness knows I could have used one about then.  After three hard falls off my “mountain” bike and a turned ankle on the 5K run, I finally finished this fantastic race with a smile.  I have recovered a little in the past two days and am enjoying a great memory of my new favorite race.  My only problem now is convincing my son that he does not need energy gels packed in his school lunch every day.

            More than ten miles from the quaint western Mississippi town of Hazlehurst is the Hood Boy Scout Reservation, a beautiful, remote venue accented by live oak canopies, a lake, and several wood buildings.  Arriving for the pre-race dinner the evening before, I must confess that I caught myself looking at the hand-carved totem pole trophy like it was a Christmas turkey.  Only about ten folks showed up for the dinner, and two of them were a couple from out of state with a “Defend America, Defeat Bush” bumper sticker on their car.  I picked them out as my target and envisioned stealing a victory the next day and hoisting the trophy over my head.  In only its second year of existence, I was relatively sure that attendance at this triathlon would be low.   Confident that mountain biking couldn’t be all that different than road biking, I figured to do well the next day.

            Arriving at the reservation the next morning, I was disappointed as dozens of sleek athletes, mostly from the Jackson area, streamed into the parking area at the last minute.  More than sixty participants then began the ¼ mile swim at 8:30, most of us underestimating the challenge that was ahead of us. 

            The swim was like all the others, but the similarities ended there.  From the transition area, we mounted our bicycles and headed into the woods.  The course featured fallen oak trees, steep climbs up slippery bluffs, descents along narrow, furrowed paths, and at least two foot bridges more than two feet high.  I promise it was the most fun I’ve ever had, even though I almost killed myself completing the 14-mile course.  The 5K run course also snaked through the woods, emerging shortly before the finish line. 

            On a personal note, I came out of the water third overall, then was promptly passed by more than twenty cyclists during the next hour.  I had to laugh at myself a good deal of the time.  At one point, after successfully navigating a particularly treacherous climb, I found myself hurdling off the front handlebars on the way back down.  After the bike, I made a good recovery on the run, but am resolved to practice this skill before next year’s event.

            The Jackson Area Council of the Boy Scouts of America, with the help of some negligent locals like Mr. Keywood and Jimmy Moore, put on an awesome event.  In fact, I will be planning my racing schedule around this, my new favorite, next year.  As for Robert, he finally came down from the Red Bull and gels, but only after polishing off ten catfish filets at the Country Fisherman in Prentiss on the way home.  I will bring a chaperone for him or else allow him to participate next year.

            Many thanks to Jason, Jerry, and all the rest for putting on the Totem Pole, truly extreme, triathlon.  I know that it was a great sacrifice, but this event’s future is bright.  It was a memory for a lifetime.  © Esquire Tony Mozingo

           

The End