Philadelphia, MS- The twenty-sixth annual Heart O’ Dixie Triathlon took place today with a ½ mile swim, a 27-mile bike, and a 7-mile, hot and hilly run. Participating in this year’s event were none other than Mr. President, Jim Coll, and a "Jan Ullrich"-looking Keith Barrett. The sleek, cat-like Ironman veteran, Anthony A. Mozingo, surprised the crowd as a last-minute entry, and thus the stage was set for what one spectator described as, "an event we’ll be talking about for years."

"These guys ought to know that all that talk about Boston wouldn’t do anything but get my motor runnin," whispered Mozingo to this reporter shortly before the race.

The trio was among more than 300 other individual and team competitors. Barrett, a late entry in the team event, road up from Hattiesburg to encourage Mozingo as he began his assault on the "powers that be" in the Pine Belt Pacers, namely Mr. Coll. (Coll has been aloof since Becky Ryder has heaped mounds of praise upon him for the progress the Pacers have made as a club since he took the presidency over from Mozingo.)

"I believe you’re gonna kick a little bee-hind tomorrow," Barrett taunted Mozingo on the drive up to the Neshoba County Fair last evening. "I’ve heard Coll talkin’ about how good you could have been…"

"Like they said in O’ Brother, Brother, ‘it’s gonna be more of a kickin’ sitiation’…" Mozingo replied. "And, I might add, all your Thursday night fun runners won’t be so quick to jump on the bandwagon with the next ‘Johnny-come-lately’ that runs for office in the club."

A hot and especially humid morning greeted the likes of the famous Keywoods family, Leonard Verngunst, Randy the Air Force guy from Columbus, and the Pacers’ crew for the start of one of the greatest multi-sport events in Mississippi. Even Raymond Miller, Mice Meisenheimer, and the Honorable Robert Latham of Adams County took part.

But all of the side shows were a prelude to the duel between Coll and Mozingo, who’ve been at odds since Coll’s hostile takeover of the presidency of the Pine Belt Pacers last year.

"Bring it on, boy," challenged Coll on his cell phone on the drive up last night.

Coll, refusing to return calls the evening before the event, huddled in a cheap hotel in a nearby Kosciusco with a supportive family member as Barrett and Mozingo took in the Fair’s fare. According to one tabloid, they were sighted near Chip Wall’s wife’s mother’s cabin in the "wee" hours of the morning of the race, with Barrett purportedly practicing his political speaking at the podium in the pavilion in Founders’ Square.

"Don’t I look a little bit like Ronald Reagan up here?" Barrett asked himself from the stage.

"Somebody shut that guy up; it’s two in the morning!" came a reply from one of the cabin’s windows

The Heart O’ Dixie features a staggered start, launching participants into an unusually muddy lake in five second increments in age groups, beginning with the youngest. Obviously, Coll began the event nine or so minutes ahead of Mozingo because of his age and flopped around furiously for a half mile on the swim course, hoping to maintain enough of a lead that would fend off his rival for the total time. Once out of the water though, Coll’s lead had been reduced to no more than two minutes.

"I still felt confident of beating him, that is until about twenty miles into the bike when I heard the thunder of Mozingo’s five-year old Trek 2100 from behind." He said.

"And all he gave me as he passed me was a smile…" Coll added.

The pair entered the bike-run transition together, each with a plan. Mozingo, who was distracted by Barrett while waiting for his relay handoff, had to endure more taunting as Barrett threw in a couple of "encouraging" words to the former president.

"How the hell you gonna keep up with the "Man" when he runs two minutes per mile faster than you?" Barrett hollered while slurping a cup of coffee from Krystal.

"Don’t worry about it. You sold me out anyway during the elections last year."

Mozingo shot back.

"He’s ‘au current’ and you da past…" Barrett laughed as Coll stalked Mozingo shortly after the run began.

On the road, the drama built as Coll, as expected, flew past Mozingo ½ mile into the 7- mile run.

"My goal was to hold enough of a time bank that I would beat him in overall time. Next thing I know, I look up at the three-mile mark and there he was. I never dreamed that I would be actually slapping the boy on the rear as I passed him thirty minutes after he bolted out on the run." Mozingo reported.

"I had a bad day. What can I say?" Coll replied.

In the end, the former President marshaled his forces and crushed not only Coll, but also Barrett and his two teammates.

"Aw gosh, he reminds me so much of those European cyclists," one chick was quoted as saying about the former President near the finish line.

The day wrapped up at Mississippi’ s giant house party with many hurt feelings and a lot more questions. Mozingo finished the triathlon in 2:36:59, thirty seconds faster than Barrett and his two teammates. Coll limped in, a victim of the hills, heat, and fame, and headed straight for his car, some twenty minutes later.

"I thought he was going to Boston in April, and that Mozingo was the only one out of the group who couldn’t qualify…" was one statement that was overheard near the livestock barns.

Barrett summed it all up with as usual after seeing the venerable Dr. Charles Wall near Founders’ Square at the fairgrounds.

"You musta’ got you somma’ what Chip got him to get over not being able to use the same bar of soap twice. Like I told you, all you gotta do is ‘focus’."

"You may even get to go to Boston with us in April."

THE END © Tony Mozingo

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